miku project diva
miku nendoroid
Hated By Life Itself - Kanzaki Iori. "Don't say you want to die. Live on without giving up!" ...How foolish it is to say songs with lyrics like that are correct. In truth, I couldn't care a bit if I died, but I'd be pretty sad if the people around me did. I suppose it's some kind of ego; that goes "because I just wouldn't like it." Not caring if strangers live or not, and hating someone else just seems like some kind of fashion now. But "Live peacefully" nevertheless? What a wonderful thing that would be indeed... On the other side of the screen, someone dies. Lamenting that, someone else sings. Influenced by that, a young boy ran off carrying a knife. We are hated by life itself. Pushing values and ego, as always, so very simply we broadcast songs about wanting to kill somebody else over radio waves. We are hated by life itself. We who thoughtlessly say we want to die and look at life thoughtlessly, are hated by it. I've got no money, and so throughout the day again, I sing songs of praise to indolence. Still without grasping the meaning of life, I come to an epiphany that it's pointless and take a breath. Are these wounds really ok to be expressed with words like "I'm lonely?" Carrying nothing but such obstinacy, today again I sleep alone on my bed. We who were but youths at some point start to change into young adults. Growing old, one day we rot away like fallen leaves with not a soul in the world knowing of our existence... Obtaining an immortal body, and living our whole existence without dying...I'm just daydreaming about these kinds of science fiction situations. I couldn't care a bit if I died, but I'm wanted alive by the people around me. Living on carrying such contradictions... I think I'll get yelled at. "Things that are "correct" should stay "correct."" "If you don't want to die, then live." If we're going to end up sad and if that's fine. Then you gotta laugh alone forever. We are hated by life itself. Without even grasping the meaning of joy, we just hate the hand life has dealt us and merely curse our pasts. We are hated by life itself. We who simply like the idea of the word "goodbye" a little too much, with no knowledge of a true farewell, are hated by life itself. Happiness, farewells, love and friendship; they're all goods that can be bought for money... within jokes made by comical dreams. I might just die tomorrow you know. Everything might just end up being for naught. Mornings and nights, spring and autumn. Unchanging, someone dies somewhere. I don't need dreams or even a tomorrow. If you'll have lived on then that's all I need. Yeah... That's actually what I want to sing about. Hated by life itself. In the end, we'll die anyway. You will, I will, one day all of us will rot away like fallen leaves. But regardless, we live on frantically-- Shouldering our lives, frantically, we live-- Killing, struggling, laughing, shouldering it all. Living, living, living, living-- just live!

Intro

hi! as i said before, im jansuta, but you can call me micah if you want. im a mostly self taught artist (so far, going to art school this fall!). im probably neurodivergent (erm i think i am autistic but am scared of doctors yay), and vocaloid has been my special interest for years. i draw a shit ton, but i do other stuff too. i make music, although i usually only post my favorite vocalsynth covers. ive been learning how to code on and off for probably 2 yearsish. although im good at forgetting how to code.

i dont watch a lot of tv or movies, mostly youtube. i do play video games, and my favorites are rhythm games, but i get into other stuff sometimes. i like ttrpgs but am not good at rp...

im a big fan of music in general! ofc mostly vocalsynth stuff but my taste is pretty broad

im mostly aroace, and also trans. i use it/its pronouns.

25 June 2024

About the Site

i am mostly using this site to remember how to use html/css, and also have somewhere to put all the stuff i like. sometimes thatll be art, music, stuff im reading/watching, or random things i have to say.

i have WAY MORE planned than is currently up, hopefully enough to have me working for a considerable amount of time lol

this is the 3rd iteration of the site, first one was all the same unedited template and the 2nd one just wasnt up to my personal standards so... here we are.

also, this was made on my macbook pro on firefox. i know it doesnt look good on mobile but hopefully it looks good on other computers/browsers

25 June 2024

My Name

jansuta comes from my toki pona name, jan Suta. i originally chose it because it sounded a little bit like my name, but more because it sounds a little bit like if you were to write "star" in toki pona. this is how you write it in sitelen pona (syllabic) and sitelen sitelen (phonetic);

my name in sitelen ponamy name in sitelen sitelen

each symbol in sitelen pona is pronounced as a letter, but also means something. kind of like writing a name in kanji. all the letters in "jansuta" are pronounced like the IPA symbols (so j is j, s is s, etc). like "yahn SOO tah"


jan

jan. this is called a "head noun." it signifies that what youre about to read is what a person is called. literally it (usually) means "person," which most people use. some people use other things, like the word for bird or animal or thing.

suwi

s - suwi - sweet, fragrant; cute, innocent, adorable

utala

u - utala - to battle, challenge, compete against, struggle against

tonsi

t - tonsi - non-binary person, trans, genderqueer

ante

a - ante - different, altered, changed, other

sina ken sona e sitelen ni la lawa sina li pona. o lukin pona e lipu mi.

25 June 2024

My Interests

my main interest is vocaloid. ill probably make a page about it at some point, or at least post all my music. i dont actually own vocaloid because im broke and the free trial showed me i hate the interface... i like utau and synthv (which i do actually own the pro version of lol)

my favorite rhythm games are project diva and project sekai (no surprises here) but i also love to play genshin :s, sky cotl, and ace attorney. my favorite show ever is land of the lustrous, and i have some ocs from it! i also dig magical girls, esp madoka magica. my favorite movie is promare, and every month or so i have a few days where i just go insane about it and draw them and watch it several times per day. i really like the Next!!! Sound of the Future webcomic, its a vocaloid fancomic by ricedeity. it consumes my brain. ill put a section below for stuff ive played and watch that arent my favs, since i still like to talk abt them

im actually a big fan of linguistics too! i dont know too much about it tho. i have been learning toki pona for a while, but i havent interacted with speakers that much so my skills arent that great. i tried and failed making a conlang like twice ;-;

25 June 2024

Media

this wont be everything ive seen ever, just ones that i consider notable/ones i liked

games:

tv shows/anime/movies

other things

25 June 2024

some smiley facessome smiley faces